Just before the end of the year, I came down with a severe chest cold, since my lungs are already weak from Lou Gehrigs’ disease I was unable to sleep for over 42 hrs. I was exhausted and wanted so desperately to rest but each time I tried to drift off to sleep, my breathing became accelerated since my lungs were so full of fluid. I was experiencing such shortness of breath within my already diminished lung capacity and felt like I might hyper-ventilate. The continual irritating cough didn’t help either, I was getting extremely over-heated and my heart was pounding. I was gasping for breath and felt that I might suffocate…I needed air! I started an antibiotic after not being able to sleep that 1^st night and Glennis used the breathing nebulizer and albuterol steroid and codeine cough medicine which finally allowed to give me some vital rest finally by 3:30 a.m. the second night.

When I was in this struggle to breathe for two nights my thoughts were, “have I loved?” and “have I forgiven?” I was not concerned with theology, work, ambition or any of the overwhelming details of my life; only love and forgiveness filled my mind. God showed me how vital to my healing were love and forgiveness. After the first night I began writing a letter to someone that God put on my heart to show mercy to. As I was writing I began to feel my breathing improve. God had my attention as I was “giving mercy I was getting mercy!” Sowing mercy – reaping mercy! The key to receiving mercy was showing mercy. 

I needed immediate mercy just as David did when he said “Have mercy on me and be gracious to me, O Lord, for I am weak (faint and withered away); O Lord, heal me, for my bones are troubled” Ps 6:2. God heard David’s prayer and answered Him. God heard my prayer for mercy and answered me by saying, “sow mercy, Scott”.

In the book of Mathew, verse 5:7 says “Blessed are the merciful for they will be shown mercy.” What does it mean to be merciful? Jesus’ word is Eleemon. The Hebrew counterpart is Chanan. It is actually untranslatable into English. It means far more than our words “mercy”, or “pity” “sympathy” or “empathy.” It certainly does not mean simply “to feel sorry” for someone else. Being merciful means to get right inside the skin with someone else until you see, things they see: think things they think, feel things they feel. It comes from a conscious deliberate identification with someone else until that person’s hurt becomes our own hurt. Showing mercy to another helps us in a small way to understand how God must feel when  He pours out mercy to us. Jesus Christ identified with our suffering and paid the price for our sins by dying on the cross instead of us. He looked beyond our depravity and felt, hurt, and suffered for us when we deserved hell. Because of mercy I am still alive today!

Because I have been shown mercy and love and forgiveness I want to extend it to others. No matter what someone has done to you it is not worth withholding mercy from them. God wants you to sow seeds of forgiveness, mercy, and love to others; and as you do, you will discover how your own soul and body will prosper and begin healing.

My wife was a magnificent example of how mercy works during those trying nights. Every time I needed help she was there, ready and willing to do whatever she could. She identified with me, never leaving me until the trial past. I am so fortunate to have a wife like her whose inner beauty shines brightly in the dark seasons of the night. God has blessed me beyond measure during this disease. He has given me treasures in darkness by revealing His great love and tender mercies as he uses my wife and others to minister kindness and compassion to me in my hour of need. 

“He who finds a [true] wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord” Pr 18:22. 

This entry was posted on Thursday, January 10th, 2008 at 1:37 pm and is filed under Journal. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.