At a recent funeral and also a wedding I attended last weekend, I saw many people I hadn’t seen in a long time, many who have known me to be in better health. When friends would attempt to speak to me and ask a question, they were not able to hear my response because of my faint, monotone, slow speech. I’m sure this is uncomfortable for them since it’s difficult to carry on a conversation with me without an interpreter (usually a family member). They seem to question whether I can hear them; so they talk louder. My indiscernible voice is misleading!! Many times, people feel so awkward that they politely excuse themselves and walk away. What is frustrating is that I do desire to communicate and joke with them (although my timing is off). I know exactly what I want to say but because of my articulation, complicated by excess saliva, my words come out slow and unintelligible and are interrupted between pauses for spitting. Unless a person is willing to patiently take the time, get close enough to hear me and make an effort to understand what I am saying; my words would simply be lost and unable to be shared.   These reoccurring situations in public are greatly discouraging for me.  

God has helped me to see that this was the same way that I have treated Him. He showed me that even though I may have wanted to hear a word from him, I was unwilling to draw near to hear His voice in my spirit man. He showed me how often I would choose to give in to the needs of my body and emotions without having an ear to listen to what the Spirit was saying to my greatest need. Or how I would let my mind wander drifting away to think about selfish and earthly things instead of patiently waiting to listen to the one whom has the words of life. Other times, I have been too busy, preoccupied, in too big of a hurry to accomplish something “important” for God but was really just being self-occupied, not willing to take the time to worship Him through my spirit man.  The Holy Spirit began ministering to me the verse; Jn. 4:24 “God is a Spirit and they that worship Him must worship Him in Spirit and in truth.” The reason we must worship the Lord in spirit is because that is the only part of us that can commune with Him. Trusting in sight, our eyes will not bring us into the presence of God because they are blinded to the spirit (Jn 12:40).

We need our ears and eyes to have the scales removed from them so that we can truly worship God. We need the Spirits illumination. This only happens when we die to our self life (our flesh) and live by faith in Christ. “I have been crucified with Christ [in Him I have shared His crucifixion]; it is no longer I who live, but Christ (the Messiah) lives in me; and the life I now live in the body I live by faith in (by adherence to and reliance on and complete trust in) the Son of God, Who loved me and gave Himself up for me.” Gal 2:20. 

The Holy Spirit is the life-giving Spirit; we need to remain in a heart posture of communion in our spirit to meet Christ throughout our day. When we live outside of the “new creation” (2 Cor 5:17) we live “the life of the flesh which is in the blood” (Lev 17:11) (self effort, self works) but when we choose to live the life of the spirit we are choosing to live our life in Christ’s finished work blood (Jn 19:30) (Christ’s effort, Christ’s work). We can only live this spirit-filled life through Christ. Help us Lord to open the eyes and ears of our hearts to know who we really are through Your Word, and Your Spirit. 

Life is very short compared to eternity; this is why we must not waste any opportunity we have to live in this life by His Spirit and in His power. We have to ask Jesus to help us see beyond our immediate situation. There are some things in life that are more important than what you are facing now – understanding that God loves you and has a plan for your life, a deeper purpose than just to suffer. He won’t waste your sufferings, they are precious to Him, but He wants you to look beyond your pain and into His promises for you. God is not a man that would lie, His Word is true, and He only asks us to believe it by faith. We must believe without seeing and be patient until what we believe for manifests from the spiritual realm to the physical. If I had not believed that God had a plan for my life, I would have been so bitter and negative. But I have a dream, we all should have dreams. When our dreams match up with Gods word we can be confidently assured they will come to pass. Abraham was a man of faith but he had to step outside of his tent and take a look at all the stars of God’s promises before he began his journey of faith. God’s promises to Abraham gave him the capacity to dream for something beyond what he could perceive with his natural senses. 

Abraham heard from God through his Spirit not his flesh, trusting God to lead him to the Promised Land. When we are in Gods presence hearing from Him you will know where you are going, and then with your eyes fixed on this hope, all the bumps in the road will not affect you. When you go through hard times, the Spirit will quicken you to remember Gods promises to you. You will be able to stand strong against overwhelming tribulations because you know Jesus will never leave or forsake you; and has already overcome the world for you Jn 16:33. God speaks to us today through his Son Jesus who is the Word and through His Spirit; to anyone that is available with spiritual ears to hear. Mk 7:16. 

“Now the next day, when they had come out from Bethany, He was hungry. And seeing from afar a fig tree having leaves, He went to see if perhaps He would find something on it. When He came to it, He found nothing but leaves, for it was not the season for figs. In response Jesus said to it, “Let no one eat fruit from you ever again. And His disciples heard it.” vs 20 Now in the morning, as they passed by, they saw the fig tree dried up from the roots. And Peter, remembering, said to Him, “Rabbi, look! The fig tree which You cursed has withered away.” So Jesus answered and said to them, “Have faith in God. For assuredly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be removed and be cast into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that those things he says will be done, he will have whatever he says. Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them.” Mk 11:12-14; 20-24  

Most people approach this portion of scripture with regards to Israel or Christians not having fruit in their lives. I would like to look at it from a faith perspective.

The fig tree that Jesus cursed died from the roots up. When the disciples heard Jesus curse the tree they saw no evidence by sight of anything different happening to the tree. After returning from Jerusalem the next day, Peter said, Master look! The fig tree you cursed withered away. Peter could now see with his natural eyes the effects of Jesus’ words to the fig tree that were spoken the day before.

Jesus spoke His Word and immediately the fig tree’s roots began to dry up. This process first took place underground where the disciples could not see and within a day had spread to the tree trunk and branches where it now became visible for all to see.

I believe Jesus was teaching his disciples a spiritual principle using the fig tree as an example. Jesus spoke to the fig tree yet nothing changed by appearance, however in reality, the trees roots had already begun to dry up. Tree roots are underground below where the physical eye can see. Our spirit man is also concealed, hidden from us by the veil of our flesh. We hinder our understanding to see into the spiritual realm by wholly relying on that which we perceive by our five senses. Rather, we are admonished to “walk by faith not by sight” 2Cor 5:7.

God is a Spirit and they that worship Him must worship Him in spirit and in truth (Jn 4:24). When God moves it is in the spiritual realm within our spirit man. He has provided for our every need, whether or not we see what He has done in the spiritual realm manifest in the physical does not discount the truth of God’s Word, its still true. We are instructed to “have faith in God” and to “believe whatever things we ask for in prayer”; because our faith pleases God and counts for all eternity (1Cor 13:13).

When we ask in prayer for something, God our Father desires to move freely to give an answer in our spirits. Many times we have a promise, conviction or assurance that He has imparted. When God moves in our hearts, we need to possess our answer by faith. We co-labor with Him to fulfill His expressed purpose; we become responsible vessels to convert His Word into a physical reality through our actions. That is not to say that we are the one who produced the answer by our own power. It is God who works miracles and without Him we can do nothing, but we get to cooperate with Him by faith as joint heirs together with Christ. Ephesians 3:20 reads  “Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us“ God’s power is at work in us and is superabundantly able to do far beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, hopes, or dreams. Because Christ lives within us nothing is impossible for those who believe.

Jesus concluded his teaching about the fig tree by challenging his disciples to have faith in God and speak words of faith that “whosoever says unto their mountain be thou removed and doubt not in your heart, he shall have whatsoever he saith” Mark 11:23. Jesus then taught them how to pray in faith. V 24 reads, “Whatever things you ask for, when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you shall have them.” We often minimize the accomplishment of the Cross, pleading with God to move in our situation when our problem lies in our receiving all that He has provided for. Let us start praising Him for His fulfillment of our prayer and we will see mighty manifestations become our reality.  It may take another day for the answer to manifest in our physical realm. It may even take one month or one year or ten years, as it did for Abraham, Joseph, Daniel, the woman with the issue of blood and many other people of faith in the Bible. We mustn’t doubt or waiver in our belief that God has already answered our prayer. We remain steadfast, bold and immoveable on the promise of God. The time that it takes for God’s answer to be manifest in the physical may be hindered by our unbelief, forces of evil, or even a greater work of God in process.  

I love these truths and am growing in them daily. Glennis and I are speaking words of life unto my body, utterly dependent on the creative, powerful authority of the Word of God to restore and redeem. We are denouncing the influence ALS has in our lives and commanding it to leave in Jesus’ name! It has been 12 years now with this illness but I am determined to continue to believe GOD for a total healing manifestation despite what I see or how I feel.  

Our pilgrimage through life can be likened to a wilderness journey before we get to the awaited Promised Land of Heaven. Just as the Hebrews of long ago needed the guidance of God and received daily nourishment of manna from heaven, we also need God’s direction and provision for our journey. For 40 years the children of Israel were in the dry and parched wilderness. They faced many enemies causing them to fear, doubt and disbelieve that they would ever attain their promise. God was faithful to them; He guided them in the desert continually by a pillar of cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night.  In addition to the manna, He turned the bitter water of Marah into sweet water.  He also sent his Angel ahead of them to overcome their enemies (Ex 23:23, Neh 9:19, Duet 8:3).  

While in this world, we may be aware of our own wilderness or desert place. Our modern day enemies may be that of sickness or particular hardships. We realize that life is beyond our control, fear and disbelief monopolize our thoughts. We question God’s care for us or that He will deliver us from our sufferings and bring us through to a land of abundance and rest. God’s desire for us is to enter into the fullness of a blessed life, in fellowship with His Son who died to grant us full access to His Throne of Mercy. His complete deliverance was accomplished at the Cross, once for all (Heb 4:3). He gives us direction, comfort and provision through His Word to overcome any adversity we will ever face. The wilderness is no longer a barren place, we discover springs of living water where we can drink refreshment.

Isaiah 58:11 reveals to us this certainty:  “And the LORD shall guide thee continually, and satisfy thy soul in drought, and make fat thy bones: and thou shall be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water, whose waters fail not.”  

The Hebrew meaning for drought means “dry places” –places exposed to the intense heat of the burning sun, parched from lack of moisture. When we go through dry places seeing ourselves as parched, dried up and unfit to overcome the opposition we face, God is at work strengthening our bones by imparting His hidden manna to sustain us and wellsprings of living water to refresh us. 

Whatever difficulty we are facing, God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in time of trouble (Ps 46:1). His Word instructs us not to forget His benefits of forgiveness, redemption, mercy and healing (Ps 103:2-4). So many, so weighty, so inexhaustible are the gifts of God toward us, we are not able to contain them.  Glory be to God, who sends us both physical and spiritual benefits everyday too numerous to be counted. These blessings are not only for bright days but on dark, barren days as well. As His child, when we are sick or weighed down by the burdens of this world, we can trust that God is loading us up daily with his benefits (Ps 68:19). They are bestowed on us just as the manna from heaven was provided daily for the children of Israel. God wants us to uncover the very brightest gems and jewels he has for us while we seek him on our wilderness trail of life; hidden treasures silently waiting to be discovered through the eyes of faith.  

Believing that God is imparting to you spiritual benefits on bright days when you’re healthy and everything is going well is one thing, it is quite another challenge altogether to believe God for His benefits on dark days when you’re sickly or when everything is falling apart. What we fail to realize is God’s great care for us. When you cry out to God in faith, trusting Him for deliverance, He will prove himself to you on those dark days of physical or emotional need, He will open the windows of heaven for you and pour out a blessing that you will not be able to contain (Mal 3:10). He will give you beauty for ashes and the oil of joy for mourning and the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness (Is 61:3).  Imagine what blessings God has already bestowed on us awaiting our access by faith right now!  

God desires to direct and provide in the barren regions of our life. He intends to work through each of us to share His goodness with others. We are His vessels, overflowing from springs of living water that quench the thirst in a dry and thirsty land. 

“Blessed is the man whose strength is in thee; in whose heart are the ways of them. Who passing through the valley of Baca make it a well; the rain also filleth the pools. They go from strength to strength; every one of them in Zion appeareth before God” (Ps 84: 5-7).

God has recently brought me through 3 months of intense physical affliction with a great joy and strength. He has renewed my vision to proclaim His gospel all over the U.S. and the world. He has blessed my family and my business. My health has returned to a place where my legs and lungs are once again getting stronger everyday. Glennis and I are back to taking walks as often as possible. It is exciting to know that God has been “loading up” my body with not only spiritual but physically benefits during these dark days. I have been satisfied in drought (Is 58:11) during my recent sickness and earnestly believe that my bones have been made “fat” with renewed bone marrow that will be utilized for my healing.  

Despite any hardship you may face, God has also given you everything needed for your wilderness journey as you access His benefits through faith.    

Many people have dreamed of Scott having been healed. Several family members and close friends have also had dreams of Scott’s complete physical restoration. The repeated occurrence of these dreams has been so unusual that even casual acquaintances have dreams that spoke the same message of healing. They all sheepishly mention them thinking their insignificance. Numerous people passively approach Scott, sensing a need to either encourage him or a responsibility to mention their dream encounter to him.

Through Scott’s personal experience with Jesus the Healer and these repeated confirmations, he awaits the promise of a physical healing that God has yet to manifest. Scott has always paid special attention to each individual’s depiction of their dream, in fact he has journeled many of them. Scott himself, has dreams with a transformation of healing occurring, he repeatedly has foreseen himself physically complete with a cooperative body. He has vision to share the hope and comfort found in a relationship with Christ.  Scott’s belief system continues with the assurance of healing while in a dream state of unconsciousness. So pervasive are the thoughts and verifications of physical deliverance that we both abide in expectancy.  

I do not have as active a “night life” as Scott, I seldom recall my dreams. Despite dedication and support to my husband and a compelling desire to share the good news of the Gospel;  it has seemed little strange to me that with all the dream “reports” over the last decade,  I had never visualized a renewal of Scott’s physical condition….until May 26^th, 2008, written below: 

“Scott & I were out of town on a trip, in attendance with others we knew. Somehow with the flurry of activities I was not with Scott (highly unusual in public settings). I was in a hotel room with a couple of others, the phone rang; it was Scott looking for me. He asked where I was and where I had been, he told me that he had been healed and I hadn’t been there. I could tell that he was perturbed with me. (Later when I awoke It struck me that I had heard Scott’s voice in my ear. It was the voice from long ago with the force of air and a nuances of his own. I could detect he even had his mid-western inflection.) I gave him my good reasons for not being there and asked where he was. He told me he was in a room at the hotel. The room happened to be adjoining, so I went right over and found him busy packing light clothing into a small suitcase. He had a toothbrush out of the side of his mouth, trying to do two things at once. He was in a hurry and he was stressing the urgency that we had to leave right away. (I couldn’t believe what I was seeing, Scott’s arms were moving hurriedly to fill the suitcase, he was talking with his hands and gesturing that we had to get a move on it.)   

I was astonished, standing before me for the first time in a long time was the stature of the man I had married. I marveled what God’s healing power had done to finally manifest that which we had believed for. I stood there in disbelief, although I had believed in faith for it! God had brought forth something that had no chance of “reality”. Scott magnified God reminding me that Jesus had told him that He would do it. I agreed that had been Scott’s constant testimony. We had both sensed there had been spiritual momentum with an increasing acceleration and hunger to see God through his Word. We had known His deliverance and answer to our prayer was near. 

As we left the room and walked outside, the weather was warm. We were dressed casually and late to attend a meeting of some sort. I didn’t get the impression that Scott was the speaker but did sense the obligation to be on-time, particularly since others were expecting to see the miraculous healing he had received. We walked down a flight of steps and onto a sidewalk. There was an expanse of green grass on our left. Scott took off running to do a cart wheel in the lush grass (This seems more like me as a young girl, I used to love to tumble around on summer days doing handsprings, etc in large grassy areas). I called out to him not to do it because I feared that his shoulders wouldn’t be able to withstand his weight while turning the cartwheel. My cautioning diminished his confidence; he went into a crouched “baby” cartwheel. I immediately knew that I had limited his belief through my voice of doubt.”  

I then awoke and replayed the dream as I lay in bed. I could still hear the sound of Scott’s voice; I treasured remembering his detached but familiar expression.  I thought of how I would regret not being with Scott when God anoints him healing, I was overjoyed how God had answered the prayer for a miracle and I thought of how the words I speak have influence over the actions of others. I desire to voice the possibilities empowering people to do the things God compels them to do. 

I thank God for the meditations he gives us. When our thoughts affirm His love and encourage our trust in Him, I say AMEN! Our faith relies on the substance of things hoped for and things yet unseen. Scott & I position our hearts in agreement believing that this disease (A.L.S.) is not unto death but for the glory of God. We have an expectancy that God’s promise will come to pass. We have a vision for our future with the purpose that Jesus be lifted high for all men to see.

In John 10:10, Jesus says “the thief comes to steal, kill and destroy. I have come that they may have life and have it more abundantly”. The thief (the devil) steals, kills and destroys people through the words that come out of their OWN mouths. Jesus said “out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks” (Mt 12:34). Whatever is in our hearts is readily available to come out of our mouths, bringing to surface the overflow of what we are occupied with. Whether attitudes of our fleshly nature or the peaceable fruit of righteousness pouring forth from our spirit. God knows the thoughts and intents of our heart (Heb 4:12) and is not fooled by our words when they don’t line up with what is in our hearts. Discerning persons are also able to determine what kingdom is giving voice to our words; the devil also is taking surveillance.  Our words may try to cover up and conceal the foundation in which we have been building upon, but over time it is abundantly evident.  

Proverbs 18:21 tells us, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” Our tongues have the power to speak life or death into any circumstance we are in. We must not be careless with the words we choose to speak because God will hold us accountable for every idle word we say (Matt 12:36).  As we remember, in the book of Numbers, chapters 13 & 14; twelve spies came back to report of the findings they were sent to spy out in the Promised Land. All of them except Caleb and Joshua spoke unbelief with their tongues likening themselves unto grasshoppers, in fear that they all would be devoured by giants in the land if the children of Israel were to enter into the Promised Land.

Upon hearing this, the whole congregation of Israel lifted up their voice and cried, complaining and lamenting having ever left Egypt. God was angered; after all the signs that He had performed among these people, speaking through Moses He said to them “As I live, says the Lord,  just as you have spoken in My hearing, so I will do to you…”. In God’s judgment (verses 29-35),  He set Israel aside in the wilderness for 40 years according to the number of days the men had spied out the promised land (vs. 14:34). God’s rejection of the evil congregation that gathered against Him was that they would die in the wilderness. Only Joshua, Caleb and those under the age of 20 years would go in and possess the land of Canaan. The spies, who brought the evil report by the fruit of their tongues had caused the congregation to sin, they were all killed by a plague before the Lord.

God is listening to our words they have power and authority behind them, and they also have creative ability. We create our own future by the words we choose to say and. Our words will either testify for us or against us (Mt 12:37). God has a future of abundant life destined for us but Satan has a plan of death waiting. There are crossroads ahead for our future and we have two paths we could choose. Satan has plans for our death and destruction on one path but God has plans to give us a life of hope and future on the other narrower path. Jeremiah 29:11 reads, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” God loves you, He has a plan of hope for your future.

As we consider, in application to our own lives, God instruction for Joshua to meditate on the Book of the Law day and night that he might observe to do all that was written in it, then he would be prosperous and successful (Josh 1:8). God also told Joshua to be strong and courageous and not to be afraid or dismayed because of his enemies (vs9); God was with Joshua and He promises to be with us.

For myself, it is not always easy to confess God’s promise for health and healing as I’m hooked up to a breathing machine, fed through a feeding tube, wearing a brace that supports my neck with Velcro to keep my head in place. When my breathing was failing last month and I had no capacity to use my authority to declare scripture or the energy to read my bible on-line, my wife would remind me of God’s promises and say to me, “You are getting better every day” and, “We have a future together”. God also sent people that visited me, wrote e-mails and would call on the phone to speak words of life to encourage me. I was greatly strengthened and it helped to bring me to a place of expecting God for a victory with my breathing. Slowly my breathing improved and I began to regain energy to declare scriptures of life. During the time that I was most affected with restricted breathing, projections of death filled my mind but God kept reminding me that it wasn’t my time to go; He was using me despite my illness. I realized that God was sustaining me and I could not just pass away quietly in the night although I was having trouble breathing. No, God has a future and a plan for me and my wife, He wanted me to believe Him and confess scriptures of life. The issues of death and the timing of it belong to God (Ps 68:20) so I didn’t need to worry about that. One of my favorite verses that I would meditate on during this time was (Ps 118:17) “I shall live and not die and declare the works of the Lord.” Praise be to God, I have learned that when I am most vulnerable, in a position of weakness, that is when God’s strength is displayed greatest to the atmosphere and to those around. In confidence and completely at the mercy of God, I profess His words of life trusting Him to bring to pass that which He gave faith to believe.

We must comprehend the importance of thinking and speaking aloud the truth found in the Word of God seeking God’s guidance and provision for our lives. When things seem unfathomable and impossible, we stand on God’s Word for His best, this becomes the evidence of Faith…the substance of things not seen (Heb 11:1).  The world in which we live was framed by the power of the Word; the living Word has power to bring forth things into existence. Do we realize that we can pray words of life to affect our future? By possessing the indwelling Spirit, we are given access to the Resurrection power of Christ; this power brought Jesus up from the grave to defeat the devil.  We take charge of our mind and guard our heart, not being ignorant of our adversary the devil, for he will war against us to steal away our confidence. “The weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God, for pulling down strongholds” (2 Co.10:4). This verse gives us our warfare plan. This is a spiritual battle; we are not to let Satan steal our future by playing his hand and confessing words of death. We are to take charge of our words and bring all our thoughts captive casting down anything that exalts itself above the knowledge of Christ. As believer priests in this world we have been given authority to speak words of life which come from the kingdom of heaven. When we confess God’s Word over our circumstance we allow God to do His creative work.  

 “For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.” Heb 4:12

Regarding the account of Philip and Nathanael, in the book of John, Jesus speaking to Nathanael; perceived that his heart was upright. Jesus said, “Behold an Israelite indeed, in whom is no guile (deceit)!” What wonderful words declared to Nathanael integrity! He asked “how do you know me?” He may have thought; We have never met before, so how would you know my character? 

Jesus was gentle and loving in his response, “Before Philip called you, when you were under the fig tree, I saw you.” Nathanael’s heart rejoiced, only one with the spirit and power of God could know that, he had prayed in secret, hidden in the branches of the fig tree. Nathanael then said aloud, “Rabbi (Master), thou art the Son of God; thou art the King of Israel!” As soon as Nathaniel confessed his faith in Jesus as King, Jesus said that Nathanael and all who see with the eyes of faith would behold “greater things than these” (John 1:47-51). Nathanael serves as a model for the true seekers who overcome initial skepticism and place belief in Christ. 

How about us? Do we want to behold greater things and miracles? Do we believe God through the eyes of faith; or are we only walking by sight and practicality? Do we accept only the advice of medical or professional authorities and what they pronounce? I’m not suggesting those who specialize do not have a professional opinion, but we are to take their instruction under advisement and seek the counsel of the Holy Spirit, who guides us onto all truth…..where all wisdom dwells. God can open doors and shut them, He can direct your steps, send spiritual counselors  and orchestrate situations that will convey godly wisdom for the way you should proceed. When we are confronted with life changing decisions, who do we turn to and wait to hear from? Is God pre-eminent in our life or is He only a “Sunday” God; scarcely consulted to intervene in our everyday life?  We all have to be careful and not act hastily with our choices. We must be patient; waiting on God for a confirmation of peace and a settled heart of conviction.  

In rabbinic literature, the proper place to study the Torah was under a fig tree. Jesus identified Nathanael’s devotion to the Torah with a heart that desired the things of God. Nathaniel lay under the fig tree searching the Law. When he finally met THE SON OF GOD he called Jesus the Messiah. God rewarded his faith by saying “greater things than these you will see” When we put our faith in God we will not be disappointed. God does not waste our hope. He will take us beyond ourselves and into the realm of the supernatural, where the heart cries out to know Him, where greater things happen and destiny is fulfilled. 

In April, I was in a battle for air. My ability to breathe on my own was seriously weakened by pneumonia, creating a further degree of stress on my already compromised health. My lung capacity to inhale air became so deficient that creating a force to clear phlegm in my airway was next to impossible, the mucus became the consistency of rubber cement. Choking and respiratory failure were 24 hour a day concerns. I could not function without my Bi-pap machine (external ventilation) on most of the day and all night. There was also the management of the cough assist, nebulizer and suction machines, herbal and prescription mucous thinners and fighters. When I didn’t have my mask on, my face would turn beat red, I had a continuing headache from lack of oxygen. My upper body became overheated (as in hot flashes). I needed fans and air conditioning to try to cope with the sensation of air hunger due to the rising carbon dioxide levels in my bloodstream. The inability to breathe precipitated an anxiety threat of its own. 

This pre-occupation with survival led me to think about the simplicity in my relationship with Christ. My thoughts were of His love for me, His trustworthiness and commitment to be with me where ever He leads.  Again, I am at a cross roads of accepting another medical intervention or peaceably allowing the natural course of events. Believe me, I related to those who wish to release their families from the increasing burdens of critical illness. At times, I would rather have given up and let go, enter heaven in anticipation of the face of Jesus and live in a perfected body forever.

After giving prayerful consideration to my decision, God, as He has in the past, compelled me to exhaust all possibilities as He leads the way. At this time, I was to pursue Him here in the land of the living expecting “greater things”. He asked me to trust Him that greater things ahead will glorify Him; in and through me. I take great comfort knowing that the suffering in this life is never in vain. 

It was at this time that I heard an inspiring message by Francis Frangipane who’s timely preaching concerning God’s purpose to leave us in the world, not to take us out (Jn 17:15). I knew I was in a grave situation and was willing to get a tracheotomy so that I would not suffocate. Who knows? God could extend my life another 20-30 years to be used by Him. God could miraculously heal my lungs at any moment or He could grant me His grace to enter into this new life change. I sought the Lord in prayer for wisdom as to whether or not my breath should be dependent on a ventilator.

The pulmonologist at the University of Washington informed my wife that 95% of the people in my condition would choose not to have a trach operation because of their bleak prognosis and continuing losses. Most would rather die naturally instead of the worst-case inability to communicate in anyway, trapped in the shell of their body to be kept alive in a trance by machinery. He also emphasized the financial strain imposed on families. It would cost $150,000/year minimum to maintain round the clock care for me and most insurance would not cover custodial care in the home.  

Was I willing to sacrifice the promise of my voice to proclaim the message God had given me to encourage people whose hope is fading?  My ability to speak and use my voice was always how I naturally assumed that I would one day be able to testify of the healing work of Jesus. Now I was faced with the decision to go forward with a laryngotracheal (separation) tracheotomy advised for persons with A.L.S. This type of operation is preferred for patients who’s recovery of voice and swallowing function is uncertain and the aspiration of salvia are life threatening. Laryngeal closure would eliminate my ability to speak but would protect my airway, preventing aspiration of secretions that brings about the leading cause of death for ALS patients…. pneumonia.  

What the pulmonologist reported to us was hard hitting, in-your-face reality, perhaps factual but void of inspiring faith or trust in the promises God. It may be his place to be so objective and present only the “evil report” but we have to take all things into consideration and let the Holy Spirit “weigh-in” as we seek to know God’s will. After absorbing the initial fears, and considering the impact on our daily lives and future, I continued to believe that God would make a way to confront all these obstacles as we were to walk through this valley. I was not deterred from going forward with the recommended Laryngectomy if God did not quickly turn my breathing situation around. 

On Friday of that week, I received an e-mail from a dear friend of Glennis and mine. Natalie Nichols sent a powerful prayer that inspired me to believe God would heal my lungs. Many other family and friends had also been praying which further encouraged my faith to trust and believe God for healing. I want to post Natalie’s prayer because I think it will encourage your faith (Insert your name where she has mine).

 “Scott, I’m asking and believing God to strengthen your lungs and enable you to breathe normally on your own.  Father, thank you for your love for Scott.  You care for him so tenderly and in you his health and wholeness consist.  Everything he is and has is in you.  You give Scott your joy, your peace, your wisdom, your energy, your life…and your breath!  I speak to Scott’s body, his lungs, his breath and say:  Be filled with the life-giving, creative breath of Jesus Christ.  I say to every cell: submit to the authority of Jesus Christ. I tell everything standing in opposition to God’s will – anything that is working against God’s plans for Scott – to go in Jesus name.  Every bacteria from the pneumonia be gone NOW in Jesus Name.  Every evil spirit effecting weakness and sickness, you must leave Scott’s body now.  We, Scott’s brothers and sisters in Christ, equipped with effective, powerful weapons of warfare, command you to leave.  Father, I claim lung health for Scott.  Your blood bought every amount of healing we experience on this earth.  By your wounds may Scott’s lungs be healed.  Father it only takes one word, one touch, one breath from you and we are healed.  Send that word, that touch, that breath this very moment and heal Scott. In Jesus Name.”

By that Saturday night my breathing had turned around, I had been off the bi-pap ventilator for 3 hours and I still had energy, it was obvious that something had changed, I told my wife in amazement how good I was doing, I had vitality and felt stronger. I knew right then that I was not to get the trach at this time. Supernaturally, I had received healing in my lungs. Sunday and Monday I kept improving. On Monday night about 3:30 am I awoke and started praising God for my healing, then I heard a voice in my spirit say, “you shall see greater things than this” these words greatly encouraged me as I am assured in God’s Word that nothing is impossible with God. No sickness, no terminal disease, no paralysis, no heartache, no tormented soul would not be able to be healed by the blood of the Lamb. God has overcome every sickness and heartache that we could ever face.

Many of us are like Nathanael, laying under the fig tree reading our Bibles “about” God but never personally believing and trusting in Him. Until such time that we have a supernatural encounter with Him, our faith will not increase. Jesus calls your name and leads the way to follow Him, by responding positively, your faith will explode. You will be like Nathanael, shown greater miracles and expecting greater things such as healings and awareness of God’s ministering angels; eventually to obtain resurrection from death to life. 

“Jesus glanced around at them and said, With men (it is) impossible, but not with God; for all things are possible with God.” Mk 10:27

We all have trials but how do we react while we are in them? Paul said the trials of our faith are more precious than gold which is tried by fire unto praise and glory and honor at the appearing of Jesus Christ (1Pt 1:7). The trials that test our trust in God are precious in His eyes. It is not easy to confess faith in the unseen when we are faced with seemingly unbearable circumstances, but this is what pleases God. Our fleshly nature will always cling to the dust (the things that are natural) and will view life by what is seen, felt and heard. We easily are overwhelmed and outmatched by the enemy of our souls when we allow our minds to be gripped by fear and uncertainty. God says to think above and that is where our victory is (Col 3:2), His ways are higher than are own (Is 55:9). The victory that overcomes the world is our faith (1Jn 5:4).  

Most of last month, I was hit hard by pneumonia which has affected my breathing, energy and stamina. My ability to navigate my keyboard where I access study tools, keep up correspondences and post entries to my website required more focus than I could muster. During this time I have sought the Lord intensely about many things. In particular, the prognosis that I must consider having a tracheotomy to provide internal ventilation to help me breath. I ask Him to show me His glory, and clung to Him for a healing touch. The Lord impressed on my spirit to run to Him with my burdens and He would comfort me during this difficult time.

One night I cried out that I wanted to come to my heavenly home, away from this world. A gentle voice sounded in my spirit, “in my Fathers house are many mansions, if it were not so I would have told you, I go to prepare a place for you” (Jn 14:2). I was immediately comforted and eager about being in my heavenly Fathers house. But my thoughts turned to my family and friends and to all those who I knew. I asked God to also bring them into His house. I lay awake for three hours considering the faces of everyone I knew, asking God to remember them and if they were not already, that they would find their salvation in Him. This brought me purpose and great joy as I thought of dear ones who include me in their prayers and have invested love and kindness to me and my family over the years. I thought of the Pastors and Church body members who have ministered Christ over the years. I thought of the ones that blessed me through something they said or did. I thought of the faces of the ones that were my neighbors or co-workers or employers and personal friends. I thought of the ones who I didn’t think knew God as Lord and Savior and asked Him to save them and to bring them into His everlasting home.

After these hours I had remained awake, I dozed off and dreamed that I was in a place with Jesus. He first asked me to remove my outer garment which I did. I then noticed I had a robe on, then Jesus asked me to open the robe; which I did. Then He touched my chest with light (I remember that His face was light and there was light coming out from his hand where He touched my chest). I felt like I was receiving a gift of healing light. The dream ended and I awoke, I began to meditate on the dream’s significance and the other events that had happened during this bout with pneumonia. I believe God was showing me in this dream (as He has confirmed throughout my illness) that he has given me a gift of healing and I am to continue to trust Him and wait on Him for a manifestation of deliverance, no matter how hard or how life-threatening my circumstance. He will use my fragile body to testify of His glory; regardless if I was sick or healthy. The Apostle Paul stated,

“For God, who said, ‘let there be light in the darkness’, has made this light shine in our hearts so we could know the glory of God that is seen in the face of Jesus Christ. We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves. We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed. Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies” (2 Cor 4:6-10 NLT)  

When we pass through valleys of weeping; God is with us and shines through us like a light on top of a dark hill redeeming our situation. He becomes a door of hope that we can pass through. He not only wants to deliver us from our pain but also wants to give us a ministry of hope to others that will be traveling down their own unique valley experience, desperate for the refreshing purpose of God.

A few days ago my head slipped out of my Velcro head band that holds my head from dropping forward. I was sitting at my desk and had just finished typing an e-mail. My head dropped, there it remained. I felt like I would suffocate; my neck muscles are so wasted away I could not raise my head back up. I was already struggling with mucus in my throat (a constant challenge for me) so I fought for every breath of air I could get through my nose. I began to panic and started to get overheated and then my body began to shake. I thought of the Apostle Peter sinking in the water and could only cry out to Jesus to save him from drowning. I was all alone in the house; my wife had gone to the doctors office with one of my daughters. My caregiver and friend, Sharon, was due to be over within 15 minutes. I was praying that she would not be detained and I cried out to God for help.   He comforted me that everything would turn out okay. Every breath was a struggle and every second seemed to last forever. I soon was experiencing light-headedness and felt as though I might black out for lack of air. Not a moment to late, Sharon arrived and lifted my head up. She then secured my head in my brace with the head band. I was so happy to see her and felt like I had just been rescued from the arena of death. Jesus delivered me not a second to late.

He is an “on-time” God, as I have experienced over and over again. God has given me a promise of healing that I consistently affirm as a faith confession. In no uncertain terms, Jesus ministered to my spirit this reality. I have not received the full manifestation of that promise, but I know through the Word of God that faith pleases Him (Heb 11:6) and that the work of God is to believe Him (Jn 6:29). If I am in agreement with a God given vision, then I will not limit or impede the fulfillment of the miraculous. I look for Him in anticipation, in a conversation or sequence of events, I do not have any idea how a physical reversal of my condition could logically happen, I only know that God is faithful to His Word. He is the author and finisher of my faith (Heb 12:2) I can be confident that He will manifest His promise. When God speaks to our hearts He wants us to believe Him. He does not want us to ask how, He only asks us to believe Him. He does not want us to ask when, He only asks us again, to believe Him. Will you believe Him today for your miracle? Jesus wants to rescue you from fear, depression, worry, sickness, disease, emotional instability, financial pressures and troubled marital relationships. Dear brother and sister, what you are going through is not unlike what many of us face. We are pressed on every side and cannot find a way of escape.  Jesus is the way of escape! Life’s challenges can be overwhelming and seemingly impossible to overcome. Jesus said “I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace and confidence. In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration; but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world. [I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you.]” Jn 16:33.   

Do you believe that Jesus can rescue you from your despair and doubt? If you believe God, you are agreeing with Him, with assurance, that he has already overcome the obstacle you are facing. This truth might be easier to profess with confidence at the beginning of a trial, but how about when nothing happens and your situation does not improve it only gets worse. Remember, the adversary’s objective is to wear out the saints (Dan 7:25). Over time, we begin to doubt we understood God’s word or promise and we begin to look for other answers. Instead, we are to remain steadfast, immoveable in longsuffering and patience. We remain faithful to trust God as a child. He will sow to us the virtues of the Spirit of God. Enlarging our hearts in deeper capacity, changing, transforming us into a reflection of Himself as we become true sons (and daughters) of the most High.

There was a woman (Mark 5:25) that had lived with a severe health condition for 12 years that caused her much suffering and blood loss. She spent all her money on physicians year after year hoping to get better but only got worse. No doubt she was classified as incurable and more than likely she was told to go home and die. Something inside her didn’t allow her to give up hope. Perhaps she had young children at home, maybe she was taking care of her parents, maybe her friends told her about Jesus healing the sick in other towns and possibly he might visit theirs. She may have been discouraged over the years when her conditioned only worsened, but she held out hope. When she heard reports that Jesus was in her village and large crowds were gathering she was compelled to think “if only I could touch the hem of his garment I will be made whole” Jesus visited her thoughts that day and healed the woman. He said to her, “Daughter, your faith (your trust and confidence in Me), has restored you to health. Go in peace and be continually healed and freed from your [distressing bodily] disease” This woman is a great example of someone who had every reason to give up hope that her condition would ever change. She may have been discouraged but she continued to look for the way she would be healed. It took one touch, one day, to change her life forever. Will you believe with me that God can turn your life around with simply a touch from the Father? Could you conceive with me that today could be that day? 

 “But You, O LORD,  are a shield for me,
 My glory and the One who lifts up my head.
 I cried to the LORD with my voice,
 And He heard me from His holy hill.Selah.                                                                                             

 I lay down and slept; I awoke, for the LORD sustained me.”                    Psalm 3:3-5

Have you ever noticed how much of Christ’s life was spent in doing kind things? Jesus was always walking in love doing kind things for others. Some of the greatest truths about Jesus are said in very few words. What characterized Jesus? It was his love. Jesus loved in all situations and circumstances. His love was not based on the worthiness of the one being loved. He just loved. He did not love to get, but rather he loved to give. Jesus loved us as the Father loved him. He told us to do the same toward each other. This is the challenge in our lives. Love, like Jesus loved. Even in the times when He seemed harsh, his love came through. Jesus remained sinless, showing us what His plan for His people was before sin entered the world. This is still His plan, of course, and that is why He came to defeat sin and the lies of the devil with love, truth, and His own blood. When Jesus rebuked anyone, it was always in love with the objective of bringing them back into the into the Kingdom of God and saving their lives. Jesus’ purpose was never to condemn people, but to save them (John 3:16-17).

There are so many examples of Jesus’ love in the BIBLE. In Mark 10:16, He took children one by one up into his arms placing his hands on them and blessing them. In Mark 10:21, a man seeks eternal life, thinking that he can keep the commandments of God. What does Jesus do? He loves him.  In John 11:5, Jesus loved Martha and Mary and Lazarus as dear friends. In John 11:32-36, When Jesus saw Mary and the Jews who were with her sobbing over Lazarus’ death, He wept. The Jews then commented on how they could see how tender Jesus’ love for Lazarus was. In Matthew 20:32, Jesus saw the two blind men and heard their cries for mercy and compassionately healed them. In Mark 1:41, a man with Leprosy begged Jesus on his knees to heal him and said to Jesus, “if you are willing you are able to make me clean” Jesus was moved with love and compassion and said to the man that He was willing to make him clean and healed him. Jesus not only spoke about love He also expressed love through His deeds. In John 15:13, Jesus says that there is no greater love than to lay down your life for your friends.  

We only pass through this world once so therefore, any good thing that you or I can do, or any kindness that we can show to any of mankind, let us do it now! Let us not wait till tomorrow or neglect our conscious. We will not pass this way again and may never get another chance. The greatest thing a person can do for his Heavenly Father is to be kind to some of His other children. 

“whoever loves his brother [believer] abides (lives) in the Light, and in It or in him there is no occasion for stumbling or cause for error or sin” (1Jn 2:10).

I have been mulling over many topics and ideas for my journal lately but one thought keeps resurfacing. It is the statement that Jesus made to Martha in the Gospel of Luke chapter 10 verses 39-42: 

“And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus’ feet, and heard his word. But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me. And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.”

     Jesus and His disciples came to the village where Martha lived; they were probably tired and hungry from journeying around the Judean countryside. Martha’s intent was to serve Jesus and the disciples whatever she could in order to meet their needs. Her sister Mary, on the other hand, was content to just be with Jesus and to sit at His feet to hear Him speak. Martha was upset with Mary for not helping her to serve and wanted Jesus to correct her. Jesus instead gently said to Martha, “Thou art careful and troubled about many things but one thing is needful and Mary has chosen the good part…”     Was Jesus telling Martha that serving others was not as important as sitting at his feet listening to him speak? Possibly, but I think what he was really doing was revealing to her own heart whether or not she loved him out of duty and service or for the fulfillment in honoring the things of God. There are many things that can occupy our time and attention that are very important and necessary, but there is only one thing that is needful, it is being intimate and honest with Jesus (Luke 10:39).      

Oftentimes, I think in my own life how I get frustrated in my intense desire to “do” something productive by serving and my inability to “do” anything for others because of my physical limitations. I always fall short of my own imposed expectations. During these times of self condemnation Jesus will draw me aside to Himself, reminding me that there is a mystery in weakness where His strength is manifested. When I am counseled by what the Spirit says within me, my soul rejoices because I am continually set free from the bondage of works in the flesh and condemnation.        

There are many ways for all of us to be cumbered about with serving God.  Serving is not the problem; Jesus was the greatest servant of all. His admonition to Martha had more to do with the motive and intent behind her serving without expectation. God doesn’t measure the amount or size of our deeds, rather He measures the amount of love we have in them. Martha became so overwhelmed with taking care of her guest’s needs that she seemed to lose the joy in her service rather than her service overflowing of an abundant heart. Martha may have wanted to be recognized for hard work portrayed by her statement asking Jesus to bid her sister, Mary, to help her serve. She missed the reason why she was giving in the first place, her service was to be an offering unto an All-Knowing God who sees and recompenses her efforts to promote the life of Christ in others. These types of contributions establish in all of us the virtues of God magnifying the expression of the fruits of the Spirit and the nature of Christ through us.      

Mary did not need Jesus to validate her efforts and impose upon her what Martha was doing. Jesus checked Martha’s  heart and her motives for helping by replying “one thing is needful, and Mary has chosen it” Mary’s desire to sit at the feet of Jesus was in a response to love, she had chosen to be under His instruction because for her it was a most needful priority in her life at that moment. Although Martha may have had a legitimate need for assistance (we thank the Lord for her functional portion of providing for others) she didn’t need to compare her expression with Mary’s. Jesus was quick to reveal her attitude of self righteousness by comparing. 

What is the motive behind the things you do? Is it love or is it because you seek recognition? Do you want to be recognized for your service and efforts? Are you a “martyr for your cause”? Or do you want to recognize the One who says to you “one thing is needful”. Christ will supply for each need, sit at his feet to listen to Him simply because of your desire to know Him in a deeper way. Also, be available to provide for the needs of others to sit at His feet when you have the opportunity, capacity and grace of God serving with joy and gladness. At times we can be so distracted in our everyday routine with our “busyness” or in the responsibility of serving others that we miss out on the one thing that was most important for us, which is to hear what Jesus is speaking to us personally. Do you want to hear from Jesus? Then take time to find Him, sit at His feet, and listen to what He is saying that is most needful. 

 “Take care not to do your good deeds publicly or before men, in order to be seen by them; otherwise you will have no reward [reserved for and awaiting you] with and from your Father Who is in heaven.”                                                                                                                    Mt 6:1