After my 20 days at the hospital where I was ‘trached’ and put on a ventilator to breathe better; I was sent by transport to Rainier Vista Nursing Home to rehabilitate and also for my family to receive more training on trach care. I was wheeled on a gurney into a room that I was to share with a man that was paralyzed. He was breathing on a vent and it sounded like he was drowning in his mucus congestion. There weren’t any chairs to sleep on that first night so my wife slept on the hard tile floor next to my bed. She was by my side faithfully day and night during this whole ordeal. There are no adequate words to describe how much love I have for her!

Our first night at the Nursing Home was filled with constant interruptions every half hour between the nurses, therapists and aides coming in the room to do their necessary care. These demands, in addition to those of our roommate, made for another sleepless night. My wife had a disturbing, fragmented dream and awoke with the beginnings of a bronchial cold. Two nights later I also had a rare nightmarish dream, we were both taken off guard to feel so oppressed and under spiritual attack.

God had much He wanted to show me about the needs of other helpless people that may live out many years of their life in this type of institution. These are weak and needy individuals, out of the mainstream of our society; many so severely disabled and compromised that they could never again live independently. People confined to a bed or wheelchair, totally dependent on the mercy of others. God’s love was illustrated as we took notice of the mission of the nursing home staff to meet each resident’s need. I too, was very dependent on having my physical needs attended to and was a recipient of the same diligent care. In my weakened physical body, I struggled to hold on the desire to continue life on this earth, feeling so depleted of strength and will to live, I asked God to take to me to my heavenly home.

“I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.” Psalm 27:13

I cried out to God in silent prayer, my spiritual eyes began to be enlightened to the things that were most important to God. As I looked around about I saw other men and women that were humbled by life and willing to receive any gift of love that was offered to them. I had many tears of appreciation as I myself experienced great acts of love and kindness so beautifully displayed towards those of us that can not live without it. Day by day I slowly grew a little stronger and resolved to let God just love me in my state of total dependence.

The week following my admission to the Nursing Home, they started working with me to use a speaking valve. It had been a month since Mar 21^st that I had not spoken verbally. I already had a system of communication by spelling words with my feet. This was a limited way to express myself, but it was a way for me to let people know what I needed.  The speech therapist worked with me, lowering the ‘cuff’ in my throat so that air could come up so I could speak. The rush of air was hard to tolerate and very uncomfortable causing me to cough to adapt to breathing off the vent. I did make the adjustments within the next few days and spoke with the valve the times when I was off the ventilator. My time off the vent increased from short intervals to hours.

In just over a week, my wife, who had been with me day and night, began to get me out of my hospital gown and challenged me to push myself to see what I was capable of doing. I started going to physical therapy, walking short distances down the hall of our unit. By my second weekend at the Nursing Home my wife asked me to walk outside to enjoy the weather, once outside she convinced me that I could walk the length of the building towards the back entrance and I did. We did this several times the following days as weather permitted. Other days, Glennis and I would walk around the four wings of the facility that made a complete square and considered that to be a “lap”.  We stayed in the unit that had ventilator patients, other wings had long term care residents that needed assisted living and had various physical or mental challenges. Doors to the rooms were open as we walked by and privacy was minimal. These dear ones were so vulnerable. Many patients remained outside their rooms, in their chairs as a pastime; they lined the halls or were being pushed down the hallways by the staff to possibly attend an organized activity or a meal. In the center of the square shaped ‘home’ there was a courtyard, there were paths that went around the center pergola. Of all the established perennial flowers and bushes that were planted, only the rhododendrons were in stunning bloom. I sat in the courtyard a few times considering the courtyards of heaven, I envisioned the patients that I saw in their glorified bodies; set free from the disabilities that kept them confined. My thoughts often pictured the freedom and deliverance purchased for us by Jesus.

“Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, Nor have entered into the heart of man
  The things which God has prepared for those who love Him” 1 Cor 2:9

One night when Glennis and I were walking around the halls of the nursing home for exercise we heard from the dining hall a beautiful, acapella hymn resonating the corridors. We were drawn to the praise, wanting to connect with the worship. A lady was singing “Blessed Assurance” to her husband. The dining was dimly lit and only the two of them were in the room. From across the room our hearts joined with her song until she concluded all the stanzas. When she was finished, she invited us to come closer to meet them both; Betty and James. James has been a resident for 5 years, he had suffered a stroke, was trached, and in a wheelchair. Betty, his devoted wife comes to visit weekdays after work and on weekends all of these years. We found out that James used to be a pastor and that this couple were amazing believers. I was overcome as she ministered to her husband, her eyes and smile revealed her heart. While we were visiting, I wept because her love was “super” natural and demonstrated Christ love, also reflecting how my wife loves me! We left the dining room encouraged to witness how their trial had not robbed them of their faith but strengthened them in a deeper walk with God.
 

As many of you may know, I have been seeking God in faith for guidance and His purpose to be done in my life. I did not believe that my work on earth was done, that my purpose was fulfilled; not having the confirmation of  God’s “dying mercies”. My wife and I have encouraged our faith to believe that “all things are possible with God” and that He IS Healing (Yahweh Rapha). What could we receive if only we could believe for it? We set our hearts to believe that God could do a miracle to glorify Himself and increase the faith of many by healing my body of the dehabilitating disease of A.L.S. For over a year we have known that my breath has been extremely compromised and that a tracheostomy was the only medical option, if I wanted to live.  My pulmonologist expressed his responsibility of a “reality check” for continued life on a ventilator stating that 95% of A.L.S patients decline to have this surgery. And for those, there are medications that make patients more comfortable from the air hunger they experience until their bodies finally desist and die. The other factors are; the family’s support and commitment of care giving, the financial burden, the understanding that the disease continues to progress leaving the patient (ie:me) completely paralyzed except for the movement of their eyes. Many times, the family is left with the decision of when it is time to “unplug” the ventilator; therefore sending the loved one onto the next life.

Having this information, combined with the apparent multiple consequential losses of independence, we searched our hearts whether we would regret the choice of a trach. It would be imperative that we perceive God’s will and enablement. Either decision seemed that it would take me drastically in different directions. We had been at this crossroad for some time, concerned with my being completely dependent on mechanical ventilation with the type of “separation tracheostomy” that I was strongly advised to have done. This type of tracheostomy results primarily in the inability to speak but also in non-use of the upper respiratory airway; incapacitating the sense of smell, sneezing or even blowing your’ nose. The other paramount question for us was the practical logistics of being vent-dependent; would I be able to walk if I was attached to a ventilator all the time? What do people do? I still had the ability, albeit unstable, to walk and retain an aspect of my “independence” while being otherwise dependent on everybody else.  Would life be rewarding if I lose these freedoms and my individual expression? Would I be able to serve my God?

My wife and I struggled with wanting to hear God’s will for my (our) future. We couldn’t trust our own hearts from day to day regarding the tracheostomy, despite our inquiry of the Lord to hear from Him, though earnestly reading and hearing the Word of God, prayer, fasting, counsel and thinking with the “mind of Christ”. We tried to discern what may be given as a provision or what was self-preservation or fear on our part. Again and again in the Word we read of the importance of speaking, we just couldn’t reconcile to take upon ourselves a decision to physically alter my larynx (voice box) although the threat of aspiration was of primary concern.  (Praise God this wasn’t His intention for me either!) We wanted to make sure our ears were open to hear His leading. So we essentially just “stood still” for dread of choosing our own way. We vacillated back and forth; finally, I prayed that the Lord would make the choice for me.

Wednesday, Mar 18^th I awoke from a dream where I had seen Jesus through the window where I sit daily. He was standing about 30’ from me, smiling, on the other side of the fence by my car. His expression was happy and loving, he said to me, “Follow me” then he turned away as if he were going somewhere and he said “let’s go…” That was it, but I was encouraged as I told my wife and thought more about it. Where were we be going? I entertained the many places and turning points this could represent. It was mysterious to me but I was glad for the encouragement. That Friday, March 20^th, my wife also had a special impartation from the Lord. In the morning she had overslept and was pre-occupied in getting our daughter up and off to school. Her mind was completely thinking on the things she needed to prepare. As she arose from bed she was surprised to hear a voice well up from within her saying “…I have prayed for you that your faith fail not”. After Kylee got off to school, Glennis looked up the verse found in Luke 22:32. This passage is where Jesus predicts Peter’s denial; He begins in verse 31 “Simon, Simon! Indeed Satan has asked for you, that he may sift you as wheat. Vs. 32 But I HAVE PRAYED FOR YOU THAT YOUR FAITH SHOULD NOT FAIL; and when you have returned to me, strengthen your brethren”.  (NKJV)

Glennis and I did not know that the following morning we would begin our journey into the unknown. God had lovingly prepared us and given each of us a personal word of exhortation.  “To him the doorkeeper opens, and the sheep hear his voice; and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out.” (John 10:3)  It was time, things were prepared, His grace was extended, He strengthened our hearts.

I’ve written everything above to describe the paralyzation in the fear of the unknown versus trusting God in new and greater degrees. We have been on a journey that began when I was brought to the emergency room Saturday, Mar 21^st because of a probable viral cold causing a mucous cast within my windpipe that impeding breath to reach my lungs. I remained on my Bi-pap for the following 12 days & nights and was also treated for pneumonia. April 1^st, I had a standard (not “separation”) tracheostomy surgery. We stayed in the hospital for 20 days then were transferred to a nursing home for another 20 days. On the 40^th day (April 29^th) we returned to our home. I would like to take more time to expound on the many ways that God was with us in all that we experienced since the beginning of Spring. I hope to write at least three different segments following this posting to share with you how God carried us through the valley of the shadow of death.

Surely goodness and mercy have followed me, and God has had His covering over us during these Death Valley days. I boast in the Lord that nothing was insurmountable as what we thought or imagined. God’s will for me became very clear in the days before my surgery. We did still hold out hope, however, for God to miraculously intervene at anytime up until the incision. I’m currently back in the comfort of my home with my family, I mostly use the ventilator at night, I have regained my ability to walk independently and I have my voice to PRAISE THE LORD!

We wish to thank the many who have prayed, visited, called, written, inquired and expressed love and concern. Although we may not have had the opportunity to personally express our appreciation, we are convinced that your loving support upheld us. We are also so very thankful for those at the hospital and nursing home who served us with their hearts. As recipients of their specialized care we are eternally grateful, may God reward your service and bless you in return.

 Over the last few months I have wrestled in prayer with a weighty decision, “should I have a tracheotomy and put on a ventilator to have my breathing done by a machine?” or “Should I refuse to be ‘trached’ and risk dying by respiratory failure or pneumonia?”  My breathing had gotten so bad that without my bi-pap machine (external ventilator) I was gasping for breath, I felt like I was suffocating; involuntarily my body would go into a panic. This was very frightening, when trying to draw a breath I couldn’t get enough air. I had to again go to the emergency room; I received more antibiotics, of which my body is becoming resistant to.  We then went to our pulmonologist at the University of Washington; he made it clear that to go forward with a life dependant on ventilation still does not cure the progressive wasting of the ALS disease, the lungs continue to be mechanically supported while the body becomes paralyzed throughout. He also advised me that if I still chose to go forward with the tracheotomy, we need to do it urgently or if I was to refuse the trach there are ways to manage the air hunger through medications until my ultimate demise. We have since have had another consultation with the surgeon at the UW who would do the operation; we had this same conversation last April.  We have also gone to a private practice pulmonologist in our town. I have begun my fourth antibiotic within six weeks since having discharged from the ER in January.

We have been searching, seeking, asking, praying, meditating and fasting what would best glorify the Lord in our life (my wife & I) with what we had been entrusted.  Different days, our viewpoint has swung completely from the previous day. We have come to an understanding that ours is an individual decision, that God doesn’t condemn us either way. Although we believe our decisions may limit His best for us. We have sensed His love and know that He is with us. We could debate the benefit or detriment of either direction and don’t care to presume our eventual course of action to be right for anyone else. God must give us faith either way; we just don’t like the presented “choices”. The options given to me just are not what I have always felt in my spirit regarding my receiving a healing from the Lord…that is my true conviction.

During this time in February, the Lord asked me within myself, “was I following him or the miracle?” If the miracle didn’t happen would I still follow Jesus? “YES” I said in my heart …….but the enemy, projecting fear whispered “NO” in my ear, “you’ll die without a trach”. It hit me… will I really count my life lost to find it? Am I willing to risk death to be utterly dependant on Jesus? These are the kind of questions that have been prompted by the Holy Spirit within me and questions I ask myself.

I have also considered the great multitude of followers that were with Jesus after the miracle of 5 loaves of bread and 2 fishes (Jn 6;9-10). Christ’s miracle drew many after him that were not in fact drawn to him. They were attracted, curious and satisfied by the miracle but their consciences were not convinced by the power of it. Jesus said in John 6:26  “Most assuredly, I say to you, you seek me, not because you saw the signs, but because you ate of the loaves and were filled”. They were self seeking. Multitudes of disciples only followed Jesus because He filled their bellies with bread. When Jesus said He was the bread of life and no man can follow Him unless they eat his flesh and drink his blood (Jn 6:53-56), many of these ‘curiosity’ seekers no longer continued to follow Him. I ask myself many times “have I been changed into a follower of Christ during this illness or am I just a miracle seeker?”

Jesus asked his 12 disciples this same question put another way. “Will you also turn back?” Peter responded; “‘Lord, to whom shall we go? Thou hast the words of eternal life.”
 
My heart cries out with Peter, “Where else can I go? What else can I believe? Who else has the words of life?”  I cannot listen to words of death that keep hunting me, Waiting to devour me like a hungry lion stalking helpless prey. I must continue to believe in Jesus the healer whose name is called YAHWEH RAPHA ; The Lord who Heals (Mt 8:16, 17). I do not sense God’s ‘dying mercies’ nor do I sense that I have fulfilled my life’s mission. I strongly believe Jesus has healed my inner man and it will be manifest. He has a future plan; I must be strong in my direction of faith risking apparent death or choose to be tied to a machine the rest of my days with no medical guarantees of a cure, for years to come.                                                                                           

I urgently needed to hear a word from the Lord concerning my decisions. I awoke one morning in March with the story of Paul being struck with blindness and asking the Lord what he was to do (Acts 9:6), The Lord had given a word to Ananias to go lay hands on Paul for Paul was to be healed for a future work. I considered if the Lord would send someone with a specific word for me. I asked Jesus to speak to me by the upcoming weekend of March 7 & 8 and give instruction. I felt assured that a visitor would come or someone would have a specific word for me by Sunday, March 8th, I confessed this to my family the preceding week. Well, no one came by our house and no word came……I thought… until Tuesday, the 10^th, when I received an e-mail from Ken and Celeste Dewey from Out of the Desert Ministries in New Mexico. Pastor Ken wrote:

 “…At Church on the 8th we prayed for you just like I said, but I did not tell you that the Lord moved me [unknowing why] to prayer for you. It came upon me as urgency and I called a prayer meeting before the Church, and even before we began to sing. All I can say is I FELT the URGENT NEED TO PRAY FOR YOU. This is not our normal way of doing things. We pray for people, but this time it was different. I felt a spirit of intercession come upon me and I began to weep before the Church. It was so noticeable. I did begin to feel and experience the tangible presence of the Lord.”

Pastor Dewey had his whole church pray and asked the Lord to give them a word for me on Sunday, March 8th. Wow, I’m overwhelmed by God’s care for his children that when they seek Him, knocking on His door He will open it. Ken also shared that:

” I want you to know that the response you sent is a confirmation as to the fact that God has answered your questions about what to do about the “trach” (breathing machine). I believe that whatever you do about the machine….God has healed you, and if you put it on….than you will find you do not need it.

Even as I opened the eyes of the blind man in John 9:1-38, I will raise you up SCOTT BRODIE. The blind man was blind for a reason and his healing remained ineffective until the proper time, for he was reserved and waiting till the day I came by and opened his eyes.”

I praise God for the Body of Christ and for individuals such as Pastor Ken and others who are obedient to the leading of the Holy Spirit. I have never met this man and have only exchanged a few e-mails previously. These words and the rest of his letter were confirmation of God’s personal word to me and a word of encouragement. I was strengthened to stay the course and not to deviate from what I had already sensed from the Lord.

We had a very special celebration February 19^th.  Scott had his 50^th Birthday…what a milestone. A HALF CENTURY!  I remember his 40^th Birthday he was told he would never see, we had a big party then too! Well, Scott keeps defying the odds because of his faith in the Living God who sustains him. We thank you all for your prayers and support; they strengthen and encourage us greatly.

We decided to have a birthday open house, so people came from 3-9 pm to celebrate with us. Our theme was a fiesta party to complement Scott’s vision and desire for the southwest. Many friends stopped by and we shared some laughs, some fun and some food. As a special highlight, Scott’s dad and sister made a suprise visit from Wisconsin. We all ate Scott’s birthday cake even though he couldn’t, he didn’t mind, he enjoyed everyone having fun and he felt especially blessed. Here are some pictures of this year’s birthday festivities.

“Blessed are you who hunger now, for you shall be filled. Blessed are you who weep now, for you shall laugh.” Luke 6:21

  While visiting Arizona in March of 1998, Jesus appeared to me in a vision one night. He told me that my healing had already begun and asked me three separate times where I would like to serve Him; hesitantly I said Phoenix, Arizona. This vision greatly encouraged me and I set out immediately in my own strength, to fulfill how I was to share the Gospel in Arizona with a healthy body. The following years I would seek out any alternative & conventional healing that was promising. After all, God had assured me I would be healed and serving Him in Arizona. This interaction I had with my Lord has made a lasting impression on my soul. It has continued to inspire me with a future hope and purpose for my life. Countless times I have been brought back to the love that washed over me. It seemed like no one could believe that God personally visited me and that I could be healed but God has always reassured me that my healing had already begun and to not walk by sight but by faith in Him. Jesus is empathic with each of our needs and identifies with our sorrow and pain. Just as He continues to meet me in the desperate times of my life, He wants to meet you in your hour of need and give you hope in His Word that has keeping power.            

(Both pictures were taking during the same week in Arizona)

 How many times in our lives will we have a major life changing decision confronting us? I expect many. Who do we turn to help guide us through these difficult waters? Our family, advice from a friend, Pastors, medical authorities or other professionals, they all help us in making up our minds based on the information we’ve gathered. Perhaps our ‘circumstances dictate’ our course. Although these may be typical and some admirable sources for helping us make decisions; how many of us will pray and wait on God for His guidance? Where does His guidance through His Word speaking to our hearts fit in amongst our criterion for decision making? Sometimes, it may seem that we need to take action and “do something”, react, be spontaneous, (ie: be “on the ball”, have your “finger on the pulse”.” We all have a strong, natural inclination to take things into our own hands. How many times have we done this only to later reconsider that our decision was made in haste? We don’t foresee how the impact of one decision will beget more difficult decisions and consequences. God will weigh in His counsel if we will hear His still, small voice. His ways are not our ways and many times He leads us in directions that have nothing to do with our rational or sensible logic for making choices. We need to set our hearts to wait on God; to esteem His life with our own, bearing in mind that many other people are affected by our lives. By honoring God as best as we can, we can be individuals cooperating with God’s will being done.  

 ^“For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace“.                                                                          Romans 8:5-6

In the advice of our elders and those who have walked closely with God, we recognize temperance and wisdom. By their life’s experience they have grown in understanding. We do well to regard their testimony. A mature person demonstrates good judgment; they have insight and are our examples. We also, are maturing in our relationship with God; growing in understanding and resting in His love. We can trust Him, He cares for us, the Holy Spirit sought us out when we were walking contrary to God, how much more can He work in our lives when our ears are inclined? God desires an intimate relationship with us, He calls us His friends (Jn 15;13-14). How it pleases the Father to have a two way conversation with us.

In Luke 8:43-48 there was a woman that had an issue of blood (or an incurable disease) for 12 years. Year after year for those 12 years she sought God for healing but her condition only worsened. She searched out the aid of physicians; these physicians could not heal her and only left her broke and still desperate. Can you imagine the heartache and the pain she must have suffered after every unsuccessful remedy? Yet she persevered not to lose hope or give up under these overwhelming feelings of despair. Why? Because she knew God would be gracious to heal her, she went to great lengths to pursue the Master. This desperate woman would have had to have great faith to go out in public being “unclean” according to Jewish law. Crawling on her hands and knees and pushing her way through the crowd she found Jesus and touched the hem of his garment. Imagine the burning desire within her to seek the Lord for healing despite 12 years of worsening health.

When Jesus came to her town on that certain day, she drew healing virtue from Him. He realized it immediately and sought after who it was. He commended the woman by stating that her faith had made her whole. This woman had made a decision to believe God by faith and acted on it by stepping into the crowded streets to find Jesus. Through the 12 year trial, her prayers of healing had not manifested but there was a “certain” day (Lk 8:22) when her world changed. She did not give up and get bitter because of delay in her prayer. No, this would be the day God would answer her request of healing, immediately making her whole.

I find it notable that Jesus never admonished her for seeking healing from physicians. His only comment was “Daughter, be of good comfort: thy faith hath made thee whole; go in peace (Lk 8:48). Could it be possible that for all those years she waited on God, the failed medical intervention during that time only strengthen her faith to believe God for a miracle? The physicians could not help her but her loving Father could.

Be assured my friend, God is not delaying answering your prayers although they may have been hindered for some unforeseen reason. He knows the right time to make the blessing especially precious for you and to bring glory to His name. Be encouraged! I’ve been thinking about this woman and how she continued to believe God, she is an inspiration to me of persevering faith, she was bold to receive her healing by acting on what she believed.

God desires that we know Him so intimately that we can trust Him for our every need. When we put our confidence in Him we will have the patience we need to wait on Him for an answer, as we have read in the account of the woman with an issue of blood. Oftentimes, we lack patience making snap decisions that we regret later. When we take the time to yield ourselves by waiting on God, He will reveal Himself to us in glorious ways.

One of the difficult lessons in God’s Word for me to fully capture is the state of abiding.

“Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me.” Jn 15:4
What does the word abide mean? menō A primary verb; to stay (in a given place, state, relation or expectancy): – abide, continue, dwell, endure, be present, remain, stand, tarry.

The scripture tells us to abide or stay in Christ, or remain in a given place of safety where God will produce the most fruit in our lives.

In Acts 27:10, Paul was being transported by ship along with 276 other men and prisoners from Caesarea, Israel to Rome, Italy. Paul was to appear before Caesar to defend himself from his Jewish accusers. While in route to Rome the ship landed in a city off the Island of Crete called Fair Havens or Good Harbor. Paul encouraged the ship captain to stay (or abide) there because it was winter and sailing into the rough Mediterranean waters that time of year would jeopardize everyone’s life.  Paul’s words were not heeded and the captain ordered the ship to depart from Good Harbor. Paul had no choice but to trust God for the outcome. Once the ship was well on its way, there  arose a “tempestuous” winter storm. Although Paul was given a promise from the Lord in Acts 23:11 that he would speak in Rome, the storm  caused fear and robbed him of his hope. Paul had done all that he could do to stay in a place of safety (Fair Havens) but was thrust into a storm that he didn’t choose.

Sometimes, we also are thrust into storms that we dont choose. We may be fearful or lose hope because there appears to be no escape. God is ever faithful to His promises; in His Word and also to the promises He imparts to us individually. He inspires purpose and vision for our lives.  Storms may shake us to our core but God is still working within the storm to fulfill our destiny as the Lord has purposed beforehand. As with the Apostle Paul, God wasn’t finished producing fruit through his life and was going to save him from perishing in the sea. God sent an Angel to comfort and assure Paul that no one would perish and that Paul would appear before Caesar.

We as believers are much like Paul, we may desire to abide in Christ and stay in a place of safety like Good Harbor but because of circumstances beyond our control we are thrust into a storm. Many kinds of problems cause us to realize that our mind or body are both incapable of overcoming a situation that grips us with fear. Paul had a fear of perishing before he reached Rome even though he had a promise from God. Later in his life he would write,

“I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Phil 4:12.13

Paul was testifying that in every circumstance of life he faced; whether he suffered need or had fullness, it was Christ who strengthened him. It didn’t matter to Paul what his body had to go through because his only goal was learning about Christ.

While in the midst of a storm, Paul was in the process of learning how to abide in Christ. He was about to face unknown peril of the Sea and there was a good possibility he would die before reaching the promise of appearing before Caesar in Rome. We often think Paul was a super saint with no weaknesses, but real fear struck him. God sent an Angel with a promise so he would not fear and know that no one would perish in the storm, the Angel also confirmed his destination to arrive in Rome before Caesar. Once Paul heard from the Lord, his hope began to soar and his faith was strengthened. He told the men with him on the ship, that no one would perish because an Angel had spoke to him that night. Paul warned them that unless they stayed with the ship they would perish in the storm. God may use storms, circumstances or problems in your life to bring to pass His greater purposes, but be of good cheer for God is ever faithful to His promises. If God still has work for you to do here then wait on the Lord, abide in His rest, fully confident that “He that began a good work in you will accomplish it.” (Phil 1:6)  As you seek Him you will find Him. He will answer.

 The other day one of my therapists repeated a common remark that other doctors, nurses and therapists have said to me, “you know you will never be able to eat again”,  “you know you will lose your voice” or “you know you will never get better”. Even though these comments are meant to be compassionate they provide zero comfort to me. I always respond by saying, “God will heal me” After my comment they usually label me as “crazy or delusional” and then go on to tell me that no one gets healed of ALS but you might be the “ONE exception” just to appease me.

I am fully aware of the probablities and statistics of ALS, I am not in “denial” as I have been told, I just don’t happen to place my belief  in them. My belief is that “Anything is possible” with God; and with God “nothing is impossible” (Mat 19:26, Mar 9:23).  I believe God for impossiblities because our “…faith  is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things NOT YET seen” (Heb 11:1). I take comfort and assurance that one day I will be with God in heaven, I do not live in fear of death and God knows the number of my days. Having said all that, He has also put a vision in my heart to share His Good and Hopeful News to many hurting people. My encounter with the person of Christ Jesus in March, 1998 has been an anchor and why I have been so “stubborn” as to NOT believe everything I have been told of this ALS condition. Yes, It is possibly the trial of my life but I am in the fight of faith to see God be glorified through my lips and living sacrifice.  

The Truth is, what they tell me might have merit in the physical sense; I don’t have a chance to survive or be healed because ALS is fatal with no cure. But I don’t choose to fight the battle only on the physical level; I choose to place faith in the Cross where my victory has already been won by my Savior Jesus Christ. I cannot do a thing in my flesh, literally, this disease has limited me to a great extent. I have to call on Jesus every day to live and breathe through me (Gal 2:20). His name is called YAHWEH RAPHA The Lord who Heals (Mt 8:16,17).

God, in His great compassion wills for me to be healed (Mt 8:2,3) and His Word says God has already provided healing for everyone (Is 53:4, 5; 1Pt 2:24). He is no respecter of persons (Acts 10:34), He is the same God that healed the blind, deaf, and paralyzed 2000 years ago that He is today (Heb 13:8).

Because I believe in God’s love for me and that He has given me a promise; I’m not to worry about if and when I will be healed. I fail many times in this area of trusting Him but Jesus always lovingly reminds me to depend on Him for everything. When I depend on Him for my present and future needs I can find rest in my soul. As I rest from depending on myself I find my Father waiting there with peace and comfort.

We all remember Jesus telling Peter that he would deny knowing Him three times before the rooster crowed (Lk 22:34). But, do we remember what Jesus said to Peter after the ascension, when He appeared to Peter and four other disciples after they were fishing? Jesus was standing along the Galilean seashore waiting to meet Peter; when Peter recognized Jesus he got out of his boat and swam to shore. Jesus challenged Peter to follow Him and to do His work but He said something that Peter would remember and keep in his heart until his own death.   Jesus told him, “When you are old, thou shalt stretch forth thine hands and another shall gird thee and carry thee whether thou wouldest not” (John 21: 18-19).   Jesus was talking about Peter’s death….. but he also told him that he would be old when he died!

As my friend Bill Scott reminded me in sharing on this verse, 

“Fast forward a few years later. Peter is in jail for preaching the gospel.   He has been told that he would be put to death the next morning.   Acts 12 tells the story  ‘…in the middle of the night while Peter was sleeping between two soldiers and bound in chains, while a keeper was guarding the door the angel came and woke him.   Peter rose up and the chains fell off and he escaped.’ How is it that just days before, James, the brother of John, had been killed with the sword because of Herod’s decree and this same Herod had decreed Peter’s own death and yet Peter was sleeping at a time when his death was imminent?   How could anyone sleep knowing that? Because Peter was at rest, remembering the Word that Jesus spoke to him on the Galilean seashore a few years ago, that when he was old certain things would happen to him. Peter has been placed in jail and condemned to die.   Yet he is not worried or stressed out about it, in fact he goes to sleep like a baby. Why is he at rest when death awaits him in the morning? Maybe he thought about Jesus’ words to him about being old, and then walks around, and thinks to himself hey, wait a minute I’m not old! I’m not going to die!   He remembered the Word of the Lord to him. Even before that, he had been threatened for preaching the gospel, but he acted out of faith and continued what he was called to do.”  

The Herod death sentence that we face may be disease or something else, but it’s the same Lord who spoke to Peter that will speak to you. He is standing by the seashore waiting for you to come to him so that he can lavish on you His love through His Word.  He wants you to find rest in Him from all your worry and care in this life.

“Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy-laden and overburdened, and I will cause you to rest. [I will ease and relieve and refresh your souls.] Take My yoke upon you and learn of Me, for I am gentle (meek) and humble (lowly) in heart, and you will find rest (relief and ease and refreshment and recreation and blessed quiet) for your souls. For My yoke is wholesome (useful, good–not harsh, hard, sharp, or pressing, but comfortable, gracious, and pleasant), and My burden is light and easy to be borne.” Matt 11:28-30

Our first beautiful grandchild, Korbyn Hansen was born to our daughter, Jessica and her husband Jerry, December 8^th, 2008.  She is a gift from heaven for the Hansen’s as they begin their new little “family”.  Jessica labored through the night but had a lot of support; seven of us in the birthing room and more than a dozen or more friends of the young couple stayed through the night in the waiting room. The wonder of new life is so evidently clear at birth, the miracle of separation unto a completely distinct individual. She will uniquely grow up participating, interacting and contributing in her own life to affect others.We eagerly waited to hear Korbyn’s first breath and initial cry which brought great joy and comfort to our hearts. This initial relief was suspended when her first cry was followed by 4 minutes of silence when she stopped breathing. Two nurses and a respiratory therapist worked diligently to help to clear the fluid from her lungs and stimulate her breathing. Jessica was still involved in delivering the afterbirth; Jerry lovingly reassured her that everything was fine. Jerry and the rest of us in the room were gravely aware of these critical minutes. Concern hung in the room and the waiting seemed to last forever. Three of us prayed a prayer for the Breath of God to inhabit that little life, asking the Lord to do the breathing and sustain her. These thoughts had been my prayer during my recent hospitalization with pneumonia. I believe we were there to intercede to the Throne of God with faith that He had imparted and made a living reality. Through the love, prayer and the diligence of hospital staff she regained her breath and has been getting stronger everyday since. “The Spirit of God hath made me, and the breath of the Almighty hath given me life” Job 33:4.

After Korbyn’s struggle to breathe we were all relieved and began to observe God’s precious handiwork “You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb” Psalm 139:13. If you’re a parent, you know that there are times you look at your children, maybe at a time when they’re struggling, and you wonder how they will ever make it. These are the times I believe that God pulls you aside to himself and lovingly whispers in your ear how much he loves your child. “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope“ (Jer 29:11). There have probably been times in our own lives that we didn’t think we would make it through to the next day, discouraged and defeated by our circumstance, until somebody looked at us and saw potential that we didn’t see, giving us words of encouragement that strengthened us to go on. We became uplifted through their words of love.

Because God is love (1Jn 4:8), when He views us, it is through His lens of love. God knows everything about us, He knows what’s in our thoughts and heart, and He still loves us. God loves us so much that He sent his beloved Son to die for us. The Bible tells us in John 3:16: “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” This same God wants to come into your life and show you real love. Jesus showed us God’s love by paying for our sins with His life, (2 Cor 5:21). Jesus who knew no sin was made sin so that I might be made the righteousness of God in Him. We are to be renewed in the spirit of our minds putting on the new creation (the new man, born from above) created in righteousness and true holiness (Eph 4:23-24).  Jesus, the innocent Lamb of God, was nailed to the cross as a sin offering, presenting to the Father his blood sacrifice once and for all to satisfy divine justice and make atonement to cover our sin. Sin is not the question in God’s acceptance of us, faith is the only thing that pleases God (Heb 9:22; Ro 3:25; Heb 11:6).

Dear brother and sister, Jesus paid the full price for our sin!! What a Savior!!!!!!! Do we realize how much He loves us? Do we realize how great a sacrifice He made for us? It is because of His sacrifice we are given the privilege of spending eternal life with Him. It is by His goodness that men are led to repentance (Ro 2:4). We have been given eternal fellowship and companionship with Jesus along with all those who by grace through faith choose to accept Him as their Lord and Savior. We can’t earn, work or be good enough to gain God’s approval or acceptance, Jesus already shed his blood, sacrificed his life and gained Gods approval for us. We just have to agree with God that we can’t save ourselves from the penalty of sin and that we need Gods gift of eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord (Ro 6:23).

“…the righteousness of God which is by faith of Jesus Christ unto all and upon all them that believe…For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; Being justified freely by his grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus”  Ro 3:22-24.

We are thankful for His gift of new life with Korbyn’s entry into this world, and are awed by the intricacy of His creation. We know His watchful eye is upon us and He hears our prayers. We trust you Father, with our future and for those of our heritage, committing them to you that they would completely give their hearts to you through the saving knowledge of your love.

During the Christmas season and always, rejoice that Jesus carried out the will of the Father by willingly sacrificing His life for the sins of the whole world; eliminating that which separated us from God.

Thank Him for His unspeakable gift (2 Cor 9:15)!